Artoo's Frazzled Circuits: The OT Diary
by Ana Hazel
Summary: The events of the Original trilogy seen through R2's photoreceptors. Features the entire gang. Takes into account all 6 movies and the fact that Artoo never had a memory wipe.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Artoo's Frazzled Circuits: The OT Diary  
><strong>Author:<strong> Hazel  
><strong>Timeframe:<strong> OT  
><strong>Characters:<strong> R2-D2, C-3PO, Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Chewbacca, etc  
><strong>Genre:<strong>Humor, Adventure

**Notes:** Written for the 2012 Dear Diary Challenge. Updates will be up every other Monday at the Jedi Council Forums.  
>Some might recognize the title, it is recycled from a viggie I wrote over a year ago and can be found in my profile.<p>

Also, the dates presented are the product of researching Wookieepedia and, when the information is not available, my own estimations.

* * *

><p>ENTRY » START NEW<p>

GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:3 GrS  
>GALACTIC POSITION » CR90 Corvette <em>Tantive IV<em>; Tatoo System, Tatooine's orbit  
>SITUATION » Under attack by the Empire<p>

»» Been ordered to report to Princess - _a.k.a. She-Who-Must-Not-Know-Of-Her-True-Origins_ - and now having a hard time pinpointing her in the middle of ongoing battle. _If only she would just stay in one place or consent to being tagged with a locator device - yes that would be best, then I would be more efficient in watching over her._

»» Managed to miss being hit by 9.4 blasterbolts while crossing a hallway in search for Princess and being followed by C-3PO - _Maybe one of the bolts should hit him and make him shut up already. If he says we're doomed one more time..._

»» _Ooh, looky. It's Ani. He looks taller. I wonder if he'll recognize me. Hmm, best not find out._

»» Found Princess - MISSION STATUS - COMPLETED » DO LITTLE HAPPY DANCE.

»» Been entrusted with secret Death Star plans. » ENTER NEW MISSION PARAMETERS » TOP SECRET - MAXIMUM PRIORITY - deliver plans to General Kenobi A.S.A.P. _How fortunate that we're orbiting his base's planet._

»» Advise Princess to stay away from Lord Vader _a.k.a. He-Who-Must-Never-Be-Named-As-Anakin Skywalker-To-His-Children_. Don't think she understood me. NOTE TO SELF » Get voice synthesizer.

»» Must locate working escape pod. Consider ditching C-3PO - _No, I can't do it - he's a drag, but he's my drag._

»» Escape Pod located - TASK STATUS - COMPLETED.

»» _Get in here you mindless philosopher! And shut up already._

»» Successfully detached pod from _Tantive IV_ - _Hey, I'm good! Gee, I hope they don't use us as target practice._

»» NEXT DESTINATION » Tatooine.

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	2. Chapter 2

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:3 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Tatooine Desert

SITUATION » Navigating through the desert the Tatooine Desert.

»» STATUS UPDATE – have ditched C-3PO after landing on Tatooine - _I know I said I wouldn't, but he was really getting on my circuits and he wanted me to go the WRONG way. I'm the astromech, I KNOW where I'm going._

»» CHECK INTERNAL CHRONO – Left C-3PO 6.8 standard hours ago - _I wonder where Threepio is?_

»» _I AM NOT LOST! I AM NOT LOST! I. AM. NOT. LOST !_ - Rechecking coordinates for General Kenobi's home base - _I'm lost._

»» NAVIGATIONAL SYSTEM » RUN DIAGNOSIS » ERROR ERROR ERROR

»» Found sand in navigational systems - _I hate sand! It gets everywhere._

»» NAVIGATIONAL SYSTEM » SWITCH TO SECONDARY CIRCUITRY » RESTART » SYSTEM CHECK » OK

»» Reentering coordinates for General Kenobi's home base » NEW COURSE SET

»» _I miss Threepio!_ » EMIT MOURNFULL SIGH SOUND

»» Finally reached cliffs. Getting closer now.

»» _What was tha_- ERROR #& ER-%-RO-#-R %$ ERR-$-OR

«» «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «»

»» SYSTEM RESTART – REBOOT

»» _What the bleep happened? Where the bleep am I?_

»» RUN SYSTEMS CHECK » ALL SYSTEMS OPERATIONAL » RECOVER LAST LOG ENTRY

»» Observing surrounding area – found many droid models in several states of conservation and have been fitted with restraining bolt – CONCLUSION – Must have been captured by droid traffic network; must escape in order to complete mission.

»» SITUATION » CHANGE STATUS – trapped in droid trafficking vehicle – NAVIGATIONAL SYSTEM – sensors unable to determine exact position.

»» _Who called me?_ - SPIN DOME AND SEARCH FOR SOURCE OF CALL - _Threepio, I've found you. Don't ever leave me again._

»» Snuggle with C-3PO and prepare to shut down to conserve energy - _It has been a long long day!_

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	3. Chapter 3

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:4 GrS  
>GALACTIC POSITION » Tatooine<br>SITUATION » Still within droid trafficking vehicle

»» Just had systems restarted by C-3PO. He has informed me that the vehicle has stopped.

»» _How many times do I have to tell you, Threepio, we are NOT doomed. And they most certainly are not going to melt us down._

»» Just been directed to move outside by funny little beings in hoods. This is fortunate, since I can now determine my position and plot a new course to General Kenobi's home base. _ What! Do you think I had given up? I NEVER give up._

»» NAVIGATIONAL SYSTEM » GET LOCATION » LOCATION DETERMINED

»» _Uh-ho! Been here before._

»» Just detected audio call of the name 'Luke' - _Oh, my starts! I have discovered Anakin-Junior's secret hiding place._

»» Human male positively identified as Owen Lars is questioning C-3PO - _Seriously, Threepio spent years in this house and Owen Lars doesn't recognize him? Humans have such bad memory banks._

»» _Anakin-Junior is coming this way. I'm so nervous, I've even stopped hearing Threepio. Oh, he's all grown up._» EMIT EMOTIVE AWWW SIGH.

»» _Wait, why is he asking for the bleeping RED astromech? What about me? Don't leave me here! THREEPIO!_

»» _Ah-ha! The red R2 literally blew a fuse. Did I do that? Who says droids can't use the Force? Take that, Anakin! Hey, Threepio!"_- DO SIDE-ROCKING MOTION OVER TWO LEGS.

»» _YAY! I'm going, I'm going! Thanks, Threeps."_

»» Extend Princess's interaction directives to Anakin-Junior- must not disclose past events on Lars Farm to him or real identity of parents. NOTE TO SELF » must stop calling Master Luke Anakin-Junior; ALSO » must not forget priority mission.

«.» «.» «.» «.» «.» «.» «.» «.» «.» «.»

»» C-3PO is been given lubrication bath – _Lucky droid, I want one too!_ – while Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke is whining on and on about not leaving Tatooine – _He seems far more childish than his  
><em>

»» _How can Threepio not know where he is? He spent years on this farm. Oh, yes, his memory was erased. Duh! Oh, Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke is coming towards me._

»» _I can't believe Threepio is only introducing himself now. It's usually the very first thing he does. And for once he remembered to introduce me too._» EMIT HAPPY GREETING.

»» _ Hey, your hands are cold! Don't pull that, boy. Too late, oops!_

»» _What is what?_ – RECALL TOP SECRET STATUS OF MISSION AND MESSAGE – _That's nothing! Just some old data._

»» _How nice! Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke thinks his sister is beautiful._ NOTE TO SELF » Must not reveal the Princess is Master Luke's sister – Information Top Secret, Level 10 – Notice C-3PO is telling Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke about the Princess - _Shut up, Threepio!_

»» Must concentrate on priority mission – CREATE MISDIRECTIONAL DATA: _I am property of Obi-Wan Kenobi and this is private message for him._

»» C-3PO is now contradicting my output - NOTE TO SELF » Erase C-3PO's memory so he does not contradict me in the future. _And I am NOT eccentric! Bleeping protocol droid!_

»» Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke has information on whereabouts of General Kenobi. It appears the General has changed his designation to Ben Kenobi and occupation to strange old hermit.

»» _No no no no no! Can't play back the bleeping message._ » ANALYZING OPTIONS » _Restraining bolt has short-circuited recording system, might be able to play entire message if you remove restraining bolt._

»» SUCCESS – _Too small to run out huh, yeah right!_

»» MESSAGE » ARCHIVING AND ENCRYPTING – _Message, what message? Ouch, Threepio don't hit me."_

»» Master Luke has left me alone with Theepio and no restraining bolt. His behavior suggests he is upset. I fear I have displeased him.[i]Threepio, do you think he likes me?

- C-3PO informed me that he thinks Master Luke does not like me » EMIT SAD SIGH.

»» _Stay there, Threepio! I have a mission to complete and then I'll come back._

»» _GENERAL KENOBI, HERE I COME!_

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	4. Chapter 4

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:5 GrS  
>GALACTIC POSITION » Tatooine<br>SITUATION » Navigating through the desert _again_towards General Kenobi's Home base

»» Spent night and most of morning navigating through Tatooine desert, heading to General Kenobi's home base. _I'm so glad I got to charge up fully before leaving. But that lubrication bath would have been even better._NOTE TO SELF » Ask Master Luke for lubrication bath upon returning to Lars base.

»» _Oops! Busted._ – Been caught by Master Luke and ill-humored C-3PO – _Oh, I was so close!_- Must find way to complete mission.

»» _Uh-ho! Scanners show several creatures approaching._

»» Seeking appropriate shelter for myself, Master Luke and C-3PO – _Ahhhhh! They found us!_

»» _Master Luke? Master Luke, please wake up. Please don't be terminated. Hey, who is that strange being that's checking on Master Luke?_

»» Strange being positively identified as General Kenobi. Almost positive he recognized me - _YAY!_ – but has not acknowledged me by denomination. He has made assurances that Master Luke will be alright - _Gee, General Kenobi looks old and has increased greatly his waist perimeter._

»» _Master Luke is awake! Master Luke is awake!_ » DO LITTLE HAPPY DANCE » _But Threepio has lost an arm._

»» Have finally arrived on General Kenobi's home base. Master Luke as finished reattaching C-3PO's arm and now General Kenobi is telling him about Anakin and the Jedi knights, and has presented him with Anakin's old lightsaber – _I swear, I never thought I'd see that thing again. Still have the little compartment to hide it in, though._– Making note that he treats the Anakin/Vader subject as if they are two separate beings » CONFIRM DIRECTIVE: Do not reveal Anakin Skywalker as Lord Vader to his children; Official version – Darth Vader betrayed and killed Anakin Skywalker.

»» Just been asked to deliver message by intended recipient » MESSAGE » DISPLAY FULL MESSAGE » PRIORITY MISSION: COMPLETE – _Okay, can we do back to the farm now and have that lubrication bath?_

»» General Kenobi has just asked Master Luke to go with him to Alderaan and learn the ways of the Force – _Wait, whaaaattt? I thought Anakin-Junior was supposed to stay here where it was safe._ – STAND-BY FOR NEW PARAMETER INPUT – _Seriously, this is getting confusing._

»» Master Luke has regretfully declined General Kenobi's offer. _Unfortunately, I just realized that I can't go back to the farm and get the lubrication bath, I need to go with General Kenobi and deliver the plans to the Alliance._» EMIT WEARY SIGH

»» _Looks like Master Luke will only accompany us as far as Anchorhead. I hope Threepio comes with us._

»» On route to Anchorhead we found the remains of the droid trafficking vehicle and all the beings that ran it, slaughtered. General Kenobi concluded that it was the work of imperial stormtroopers who had been looking for the plans I carry. Master Luke immediately deduced that their next stop would be his home and has gone off on his own, despite General Kenobi's warnings » » EMIT SAD SIGH – _I hope he'll be alright._

«» «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «»

»» Master Luke has returned and he is very unhappy » EMIT SAD SIGH » the stormtroopers had already destroyed the farm and terminated the Larses. _I wish I had a voice synthesizer so that I could tell him how sorry I am for causing this._

»» Master Luke has changed his mind and he is now coming with us. He says he wants to become a Jedi like his father. _I hope he becomes a BETTER Jedi than his father._

»» NEXT DESTINATION » Mos Eisley.

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	5. Chapter 5

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:6 GrS  
>GALACTIC POSITION » Mos Eisley Spaceport<br>SITUATION » Looking for a transport to Alderaan

»» Have just arrived in Mos Eisley Spaceport and already General Kenobi wants to sell us to stormtroopers? » DOES NOT COMPUTE » _Ooh wait... Jedi mind trick. It has been a while since I've seen it used._

»» Master Luke and General Kenobi have gone searching for a pilot in a suspicious looking local cantina that does not allow droids to enter. C-3PO and I have to remain outside. C-3PO spent the entire time cowering behind me.

»» Droid-sat C-3PO while Master Luke went off to sell his speeder. Had to hear him rant that this was all my fault. _Trust me Threepio, I'd rather be in a lubrication bath than be the galaxy's most wanted droid._

»» Have arrived at the designated boarding gate. _I swear I've seen this ship before and I know I've seen that co-pilot before. Wasn't that one of Ahsoka's friends?_

»» _Uh-ho! The captain has made some special modifications himself. That can be very good or very bad._

»» STAND-BY FOR TAKE-OFF

»» _AHHHHH!_ How come every time I'm in a spaceship, someone is shooting at it? _SHUT UP, THREEPIO!_

»» We have successfully entered lightspeed. _This captain is better than he looks._

»» NEXT DESTINATION » Alderaan.

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	6. Chapter 6

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:8 GrS  
>GALACTIC POSITION » Hyperspace en route to Alderaan<br>SITUATION » Standing by and watching.

»» Been splitting attention between Anakin-Junior's first Jedi lessons and ongoing dejarik game against Chewbacca - _t had been ages since I've played the game, but I still got it. R2-D2: Dejarik champion of the galaxy._ NOTE TO SELF – Make sure to stay clear of Anakin-Junior's lightsaber range or risk severe damage to hull and circuits; REMINDER: Stop calling Anakin-Junior by said designation. _It's just that he reminds me so much of Anakin, especially while training._– EMIT LONGING SIGH.

»» _And of course, Threepio is chickening out and is now telling me to let Chewbacca win. Over my terminated shell!_

»» General Kenobi had determined that Master Luke should be deprived of his visual feed in order to see feel the Force flowing through him – _Yeah, right! Like that's gonna work._

»» _What do you know, it did._– NOTE TO SELF: Test connection to Force after disabling visual feed and analysis.

»» We have arrived at designated coordinates for Alderaan. Unfortunately, planet is not there. –ANALYZING POSSIBILITIES: error in entering coordinates in navcomputer – 82 % probability; Navcomputer malfunction – 17 % probability; Planet has been destroyed – 1 % probability.

»» Against all odds, the third hypothesis was proved correct – _What do you know!_

»» Updating navigational data in memory bank – DELETE: Planet Alderaan – EMIT MOURNFUL SIGH.

»» Have encountered small moon near Alderaan's former location. – _Wait, that is no moon!_

»» _AAAAHHHHHH! We're being captured by the Empire. These blundering idiots have brought us straight to Vader. __REUNION TIME!_

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	7. Chapter 7

ENTRY » START NEW  
>GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:8 GrS<br>GALACTIC POSITION » Death Star  
>SITUATION » Eluding stormtroopers and Lord Vader.<p>

»» STATUS UPDATE: The _Millennium Falcon_ has been caught by a tractor beam and brought aboard the Death Star. Its crew and passengers (droids included) hid in cargo compartment in hopes of avoiding capture – _I can't believe that actually worked. Who taught those stormtroopers how to search a ship anyway?_.

»» ENTER NEW MISSION PARAMETERS: Locate tractor-beam override and shut it off; includes blasting our way into nearest control station.

»» _Okay little arm-control, do your magic._- EXTEND MECHANICAL ARM AND TARGET TERMINAL SLOT » START SEARCH.

»» MISSION ACCOMPLISHED – terminal located; General Kenobi has volunteered to shut down terminal.

»» Continue searching grid for information... _the Princess, I've found her! SHE'S HERE, SHE'S HERE, SHE'S HERE!_

»» Extracting the Princess' location – Level 5, Detention Block AA-23. _We have to rescue her, she's scheduled for execution. ATTEMPT JEDI MIND TRICK ON HUMANS - YES! It worked. I have succeeded into convincing Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke into rescuing his sibling. I ROCK!_

»» _Of course it was my mind trick that worked, not Master Luke's eager nature. Humff!_

»» _And there they go to the rescue. And I'm stuck here with Threepio. Again. I can't believe they actually told us to lock the door. That never works._

»» _Geesh! I don't know what those kids are doing up there, but they sure know how to get imperial attention. Uh-ho! We have some imperial attention of our own knocking on the door._

»»_Nice! Threepio actually got us out of trouble for once. But he forgot that he had turned off our comlink and almost got Master Luke, the Princess, Captain Solo and the Wookiee squashed. If I had been 2.3 seconds slower in turning off the trash compactor, they would be dustcrepes by now. Again, I ROCK! But what the bleep were those kids doing in the trash compactor anyway? _

»» Suggest we should go back to the ship now and await General Kenobi's return.

»» _And the shooting has started again. I only need one guess to know where they are._

»» _Okay, quietly now, let's all just slip back to the ship._

»» _Of course, Anakin-Junior had to make a scene. Although, my circuits were also shocked to see Anakin-Senior cut down General Kenobi. _- EMIT MOURNFUL SIGH - _I shall conserve him in my memory banks for as long as I function._

»» Despite the overwhelming odds against us, we have succeeded in escaping the Death Star with the plans and with the Princess. _Once again, Threepio blames me for the mess we gotten ourselves into. What else is new?_

»» REUNION OUTCOME STATUS - close to disaster. _Seriously, Anakin, is that any way to treat your children and old friends? Mistress Padmé would not approve. _

»» NEXT DESTINATION » Rebel Base on Yavin 4.

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	8. Chapter 8

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:14 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Yavin 4

SITUATION » Preparing for battle

»» STATUS UPDATE: We arrived at the Rebel Base safely and I succeeded in delivering the plans to High Command - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED - They have analyzed the data and found a weakness in the Death Star. Unfortunately we were followed here by said Death Star and will now have to engage in battle with the massive space station. - _Seriously, fighters and light freighters against that thing? Do they have a problem assessing scale?_

»» _But no matter, here we go! May the Force be with us._

»» I have been docked to Master Luke's X-wing and will be aiding him through his very first combat. - _These rebels are bleeping crazy, they just put a starfighter in a farm boy's hand and tell him to go out there and shoot down the Death Star. With NO training what so ever! Thankfully, he is Anakin-Junior and apparently he learned to fly combat missions while in his mother's womb or he would be kriffed._

»» _Don't worry, Threepio! You won't get rid of me this easily._

»» PREPARE AND LOAD COMBAT ROUTINE

»» The firefight has begun. - _And here come the TIEs._

»» Calculating mission probabilities of success: _Yeah, better not say. It does NOT look good. And there goes another one of us._

»» _AAAAHHHHH! They're shooting at me. ANAKIN-JUNIOR - GET ME OUT OF HERE._

»» _AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH- - #& -ER-%-RO-#-R %$ -_

* * *

><p>AN: And that was when Artoo was shot - Poor Artoo! :-(


	9. Chapter 9

»» SYSTEM RESTART – REBOOT

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:16 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Yavin 4

SITUATION » Accessing damage.

»» RUN SYSTEMS CHECK » ALL SYSTEMS OPERATIONAL » RECOVER LAST LOG ENTRY » ENTRY RECOVERED - final 3.2 seconds of entry were unable to be retrieved.

»» STATUS UPDATE: C-3PO informs me that I was shot while in the Death Star run. -_ I'm trying really hard to not dwell on the fact that I got shot. I AM NOT READY TO JOIN THE FORCE! I AM NOT! I AM NOT! I AM NOT! Ahem, continuing status update... _ He also informs me that said attack on the Death Star was successful and the space station has been destroyed. Master Luke was the one who took the final shot. He is now a hero of the Rebellion. In the meantime, I've been out of order for the past 2.5 standard days while undergoing repairs. C-3PO informs me also that there will be a ceremony in another 2 standard hour to award Master Luke and Captain Solo a honor medals for their deeds in the battle.

»» _I know Anakin would be proud if he was still Anakin. Mistress Padmé would also be very proud and so would General Kenobi. I know I am proud of the boy. He may grow up to be a powerful and good Jedi, hopefully better than his father. One can hope._

»» Now that my repairs have been completed I am being given a lubrication bath. - _IT'S ABOUT BLEEPING TIME TOO. The things a droid has to go through to get a bleeping oil bath around here. I should file a complaint with the _People for the Ethical Treatment of Droids_._

»» My oil bath and final polishing job took a little longer than anticipated, so I arrived at the ceremony, as sentients would call it, fashionably late. Fortunately I was just in time to watch Master Luke and Captain Solo receive their medals from the Princess. It is what sentients call a momentous occasion. _Oh, my babies look so nice and so happy._ – EMIT EMOTIVE SIGH. - _Hey, did Captain Solo just give my little girl a wink? What's up with that?_

»» _Hey, wait a minute, I was the one who brought the bleeping plans and I was the one who got shot in the line of duty. How come I don't get a medal? I WANT A MEDAL TOO!_

»» _But I'm happy for them. I'm so very proud._

»» _Still think I deserve a medal though._

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	10. Chapter 10

_**Entry 10**_

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 38:6:1 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Echo Base - Hoth

SITUATION » Freezing my circuits off on the ice planet of Hoth

»» STATUS UPDATE: After the victory on Yavin 4, the Rebel Alliance has changed its base location to the Anoat Sector, to the planet Hoth. - _Yup! Blow up a Death Star and take a prolonged vacation in the coolest location in the galaxy. But in this case, coolest meant cold, not awesome. Basic is such a tricky language._ - We have been here for the past three standard years and we will remain until Lord Vader finds our location. At the present time, Master Luke is out on patrol and I am overseeing the maintenance procedures on his X-wing.

»» C-3PO has been asked by the Princess to go to Captain Solo and inquire whether he has any information concerning Master Luke's whereabouts. She was complaining that the Captain has not been returning her comms - _These two are strange sentients, when they are not paired up, they continuously seek each other out; when they are paired up, they bicker incessantly until parted. Completely illogical!_

»» I dutifully follow my counterpart since I too am concerned about Anakin-Junior.

»» It is official, Master Luke has not returned from his patrol. _Now, I'm really worried._

»» EXTEND SENSOR ARRAY » SEEKING... SEEKING... SEEKING » I regret to inform that I am not able to locate Master Luke under the present weather conditions - EMIT WORRIED SIGH - _Cursed ice-bucket of a planet_.

»» Captain Solo has decided, against all logical arguments, to go out and search for Master Luke. I would volunteer to go too, but I know I would be refused. Still, I will wait for their return by the main entrance.

»» _May the Force be with them!_

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	11. Chapter 11

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 38:6:2 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Echo Base - Hoth

SITUATION » Visiting Master Luke in the medward

»» STATUS UPDATE: Captain Solo's mission to find Master Luke had a 100% success rate and the next morning he was brought back to Echo Base in an extremely deteriorated condition. Master Luke then underwent reconstructive surgery for wounds sustained during a wampa attack and had to spend the next twenty-six standard hours in a bacta tank and under the careful watch of all his counterparts, myself included, and the designated 2-1B. He has just woken up and is now receiving extra visits by Captain Solo and C-3PO.

»» _We are all extremely relieved to see him recuperating._

»» Human behavior is so puzzling to my circuits. After commending Master Luke on his appearance, Captain Solo accused the Princess of having found a way to keep him on base longer than he intended and despite her reassurances to the contrary and the fact that her argument was accurate, the Captain still continued to press his case. Their argument escalated with the Princess addressing the Captain as _'laser-brain'_, which proves just how upset she was. Everybody knows humans do not possess lasers in their brains unless they have cybernetic implants and such implants are outlawed in all civilized worlds. Not that that would make a difference to Captain Solo at all.

»»_ I wonder if Captain Solo has had such implant and has confided in the Princess?_

»» Still, the argument continued with the Princess calling out another of the Captain's secrets. He apparently is also a nerfherder, and a stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking one at that. Since the Captain only took offence on the _'scruffy-looking'_ part, I am assuming that the _'stuck-up, half-witted nerfherder'_ part is accurate and I am updating his biographic data.

»» _Who knew that Captain Solo had once herded nerfs? I guess he wasn't so good at it or he would not have turned to smuggling._

»» _Oh, wait! I must have missed something because now the Princess has just kissed her brother on the mouth in a way I KNOW is not appropriate between siblings. When she let go, Master Luke had a very Anakin-like expression on his face. The kind of face Anakin used to have after he spent time alone with Mistress Padmé. THIS IS NOT GOOD! If it happens again, I will be forced to take drastic measures. _

_»» _ANALYZE POSSIBLE MEASURES AND LOGICAL OUTCOMES.

_»» My circuits hurt! Anakin's offspring is proving to be as troublesome as he was._

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY


	12. Chapter 12

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 38:6:4 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Echo Base - Hoth

SITUATION » Echo Base under attack by the Empire

»» STATUS UPDATE: Once again I was proven correct. In my previous entry, I had entered an assumption that the Rebels would remain on Hoth until Vader arrived to extricate them. As soon as I recorded the entry, I was informed that an imperial probe had been discovered near the Base and had been destroyed. High Command immediately assumed that Vader was on his way and ordered evacuation. I have concluded that my earlier report was brought about by a foresight from the Force. – _Yes, I am a step closer to becoming the Jedi I always wanted to be. Take that, Anakin!_

»» _Vader's here! Vader's here! Vader's here! Alarm! Alarm! Alarm! Move that behind, Anakin-Junior, we gotta go._

»» _Hey, where is that bleeping kid?_

»» I have been informed that Anakin-Junior is taking part in the ground defense. – _Reckless, I tell you. He's reckless! Just like his father._ – In the meantime, I'll just go ahead and prep the X-wing, since there is a 99,9999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999 99999999% probability that we will have to get out of here in a hurry.

»» _Yes, Threepio. Of course I'll take good care of Master Luke. It is my lot in life._

»» STARTING PRE-FLIGHT SEQUENCE.

»» I am currently waiting on Anakin-Junior. Waiting... and waiting... and waiting... _BLEEPING KID. Hurry up! ... Please be safe._

»» _FINALLY! We have to go NOW!_

»» After a hectic departure from Hoth, we have succeeded in escaping the imperial forces. _If I had lungs I would have released my held breath at this point. _

»» PLOTTING COURSE FOR RENDEZVOUS POINT.

»» _Wait, we are not going to the rendezvous point? Is something wrong? Where are we going? Are we not regrouping?_

»» Master Luke has just informed me that we are heading to the Dagobah system. It appears that we have traded off an ice-bucket for a mud-bucket. _I'm not sure if the trade will be advantageous to my circuits._

»» NEXT DESTINY » Dagobah.

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	13. Chapter 13

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 38:6:5 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Dagobah, Dagobah System

SITUATION » Looking for a Jedi Master.

»» SITUATION UPDATE: We are preparing to land on the planet Dagobah. A few hours ago Master Luke finally clarified what we came here to do. It appears that while he was trying to escape the wampa, back on Hoth, General Kenobi appeared and told him to come here and seek out Master Yoda. I am confused now, since I have been under the impression that General Kenobi's life had been terminated by Lord Vader. I inquired about it and Master Luke said it had been a vision.

»» OOOOOOHHHHHH! Buuuummmmmpppyyyyy deeesccceeeennnnnttttttt! I don't like this place!

»» SITUATION UPDATE: Anakin-Junior totally missed the large clearing ahead and landed the stupid X-wing in the middle of a swamp. And now he's leaving me here. Like hell he is!

»» Wait for me. I'm not staying here. Wai-aaaahhhhh...

»» I HATE swamps! Uh-ho, there's something in here and it wants a snack. I hope it knows that droids aren't eatable. IT DOESN'T KNOW DROIDS AREN'T EATABLE! AAAAHHHHH!

»» ACTIVATE SHOCK ARM - Take that, you stupid fish-thing!

»» AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH!

»» Ahem, the good news is that the stupid fish-thing spat me out and Master Luke rushed over to help me. The bad news is that I think I might be nauseated. Do droids get nauseated? Well, they do now.

»» Master Luke is now confiding in me his doubts about this quest. Now? Seriously? Couldn't he have considered this before entering the atmosphere? Still, I try to reassure him but all I can do is cough out swamp water. I'm definitely nauseated.

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

»» SITUATION UPDATE: After I recovered from my previous mishap and having Master Luke clean most of the mud off of me, we have proceeded to setting up camp in a clearing nearby. As Master Luke was making a comment on the familiarity of the place, another presence made itself known to us. Coincidentally, it was the very same being we were out looking for – Grand Master Yoda. I immediately attempted to relate to Master Luke the identity of our visitor, but he did not understand me. (I still need to find a suitable voice synthesizer; C-3PO broke the last one I found before I had had a chance to install it.) I then decided to wait for the Grand Master to introduce himself, but instead he decided to act cryptically and start eating our supplies and going through our things without properly introducing himself. I am now wondering if Master Yoda has lost his mental abilities. It would not surprise me in the least, since he is almost 900 standard years and has been in this mud-bucket for at least the last twenty of them. Is does make me fear that Master Luke's quest has been in vain.

»» _Hey! Give that back, you old hermit! Fine, fine, keep it!_

»» He has definitely lost his mind. Yoda has just stated that he would take us to Yoda. Crazy old Jedi!

»» And now they left me behind. I'm not staying here, who knows what other dangers lurk in this swamp.

»» SITUATION UPDATE: It is raining and I am standing outside Master Yoda's hut, waiting to be permitted to enter. What are those two talking about in there? I can't make it out. Oh look, Master Luke can't stand up straight inside. He'll damage his spine if he stays in there too long.

»» After a couple of hours of leaving me waiting in the rain, Master Luke has finally come out and directed me back to camp. He informed me that Master Yoda had revealed himself to him and had finally agreed to train him. He added that General Kenobi had interfered. Again I am confused about the General's participation in this. Oh well, I guess it is a Jedi thing.

»» Tomorrow the Jedi training begins. May the Force help us!

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	14. Chapter 14

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 38:6:12 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Dagobah, Dagobah System

SITUATION » Undergoing Jedi training.

»» SITUATION UPDATE: It is official. The son of Anakin Skywalker has begun actual Jedi training. I am recording his achievements for posterity both to keep detailed record and to study them, in order to advance my own studies of the Force. I am trying to keep up with Master Luke but find it very hard since I was not built considering the more physical aspects of the training. I especially find it exceedingly hard to run across the jungle, somersaulting as I go, although I am able to carry Master Yoda around in the same fashion as Master Luke does. I just don't like to do it.

»» _Oh look, there they go again, running past me as if I'm not even here. _– ROLL EYE SENSOR AT THEM.

»» Alright, this is odd. Master Yoda just recounted to Master Luke that this area, where the temperature values are much lower than that of its surroundings, is full of the dark side of the Force and is now instructing Anakin-Junior to go in there. Unarmed. _Seriously, has he forgotten Anakin-Senior? The boy should stay far away from that place._

»» _But no one listens to the droid so there he goes. At least he took the lightsaber. I mean you never know what could be hiding in there._

»» I will keep my scanners out in hopes of detecting any dangers and I am prepared to run in there to help Master Luke if need be.

»» And here he comes back out again. _Well, that didn't take long!_

»» Master Luke was very upset when he came out and explained that he had found Lord Vader in there and they had dueled. (_Weird! I did not detect any ships or TIES flying in._) He continued by explaining that he had defeated Lord Vader (_as if! the kid is good, but he's not that good_) and beheaded him. The severed head had then opened to reveal Master Luke's face inside. _Creepy!_ Maybe this is a good time to reveal Vader's true identity to Master Luke?

»» _I guess not!_

»» And with that lovely tale, we all went off to bed.

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	15. Chapter 15

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 38:6:20 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Dagobah, Dagobah System

SITUATION » Undergoing Jedi training – part 2

»» While Master Yoda directed Master Luke in levitation and telekinesis techniques, I detected that Anakin-Junior's X-wing, which had been left where it landed, was now sinking into the swamp. I alerted Master Luke of this fact and he immediately interrupted the training exercise.

»» I did not need the Force to read Master Luke's dismay. However, true to the Jedi teachings, Master Yoda immediately took the opportunity to turn the event into a lesson. He instructed Master Luke to retrieve the X-wing using the Force in much the same way as in the previous exercise. Master Luke tried to reason with the Grand Master stating that this was a completely different case, but Master Yoda countered the argument. When Anakin-Junior relented and said he would try, Master Yoda stated the words that I shall record now for posterity: _"No, try not! Do! Or Do not! There is no try."_ I have a feeling (_yes, droids have feelings too_) these words will be engraved in Master Luke's mind for the rest of his life.

»» Following this statement, Master Luke proceeded to attempt (I will not say _try_) to retrieve his fighter from the swamp. I'll admit, I was disappointed when he was unsuccessful. When Master Luke had just about given up, Master Yoda stepped in and completed the task himself, making sure to turn it into yet another lesson on the nature of the Force (recording appended to this entry). It was impressive.

»» And now we have an X-wing to clean and dry out. _Oh joy!_

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	16. Chapter 16

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 38:6:22 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Dagobah, Dagobah System

SITUATION » Undergoing Jedi training – part 3.

»» I have decided I do NOT like Jedi training!

»» I should explain. I do not enjoy being levitated around along with a bunch of rocks. I am pleased that Anakin-Junior is showing progress, but why does he have to train on me? _I AM NOT A BLEEPING SHIP!_

»» AAAAHHHHHH! I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT ENJOY BEING DROPPED. Bleeping kid!

»» Uh-ho! Master Luke has had a vision. This was how Anakin started. – EMIT WORRIED SIGH.

»» Double uh-ho! The vision was about his sister (whom he still doesn't know is his sister). She is in danger and Master Luke wants to go to her rescue. _So much like his father._

«»«»«»«»«»«»

»» Alright, we're all packed up and ready to go. Based on Master Luke's vision I have determined that the city in the clouds is a mining colony on Bespin. It belongs to one of Captain Solo's old acquaintances (the things one finds out on the Holonet). Master Yoda is still trying to convince Master Luke to stay and complete his training and I have volunteered to go on my own, but they did not understand me. _Again!_

»» Did I just detect General Kenobi's voice? _Freaky! _I must make a full set of recordings and scans for later analysis.

»» And since not even a dead Jedi Master can stop Anakin-Junior from being Anakin-Junior, here we go.

»» At least he promised to return and complete his training.

»» NEXT DESTINATION » Bespin.

»» _I hope Threepio is alright._

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	17. Chapter 17

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 38:6:25 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Cloud City - Bespin

SITUATION » Rescue mission.

»» SITUATION UPDATE: We have succeeded in sneaking into Cloud City. _This was surprisingly easy. My circuits are twitching. _Alright, now to find the others.

»» There certainly are a lot of imperial guards around.

»» OH LOOK, THERE THEY ARE! And so are the bleeping blasters. DUUUUCCCKKKKK!

»» _Bleep'em! They took the Princess and Chewbacca, but not before she shouted something about a trap._ _See, that was why my circuits were twitching. Wait, was that C-3PO strapped behind the Wookiee? And where the bleep was Captain Solo?_

_»» BLEEP IT! Master Luke just walked into a room and the door slid shut right behind him, successfully separating us. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP AN EYE ON THAT BLEEPING KID IF I CAN'T FOLLOW HIM? HUH? HOW? Better go find the others and hope that Master Luke does not get into trouble on his own. Yeah right, as if..._

»» _FOUND THEM! Hey wait for me!_

»» So it was C-3PO strapped on Chewbacca's back and he's in a terrible state of dismemberment.

»» _Oh, bleep! We're too late. We arrived just in time to see the bounty hunter's ship take off taking Captain Solo. _

_»» STORMTROOPERS AGAIN! EVERYBODY RUN!_

«»«»«»«»«»

»» SITUATION UPDATE: We managed to make our way to the hangar where the _Millennium Falcon_ was left only to find that the security code had been altered and C-3PO instructed me to access the computer and tell it to override the security code.

»» _AAAHHHHH! It was a power socket. Stupid Threepio!_ _Outch! My circuits hurt._

»» Locating other entrance and proper computer terminal outlet. _Hey sentients, the computer is updating me on the Falcon's hyperdrive's status... Fine! I'll just open the door._

_»» And it's done. Naturally!_

»» Now to create a diversion - ACTIVATE FIRE EXTINGUISHER » CREATE SMOKE SCREEN.

»» That will cover our escape for a few minutes.

_»» Millennium Falcon, here we are!_

»» _And now that we're secure, Threepio, I can finally tell you that you have looked better. Come on, let's get you inside._

»» _Sentients, should we not go back for Master Luke? Sentients? Humans? Wookiee? Threepio? We can't leave without Master Luke. Threepio, tell them! I really need to get that voice synthesizer._

_»» YES! I got through to the Princess. But why did she have that strange look on her face just before? And how does she know where Master Luke is? Not even I know that._

»» Doesn't matter. TOOOO THEEEEE REEEEESCUUUUUEEEEEE!

»» SITUATION UPDATE: The Princess has successfully led us to where Master Luke was hanging, and _hanging_ is the operative word here, and our new friend (whom I don't know yet) has collected him safely. Unfortunately Anakin-Junior did not do well in his exploits of Cloud City as he appears to have lost an appendage and seems extremely distraught. I'm sure he will inform us on the events that led to this state as soon as he is feeling up to it, in the meantime, _LETS GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE_.

»» And, of course, the Falcon did NOT go to lightspeed. As I had tried to relay to C-3PO back on Cloud City, the hyperdrive is fixed but is deactivated. _JUST ACTIVATE THE BLEEPING THING AND GET US OUT OF HERE!_

»» _Huh, I have to do everything myself. Shut up Threepio! » _ACTIVATING HYPERDRIVE_. » There, now we're ready to go._

»» NEXT DESTINATION » Home One.

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	18. Chapter 18

Since the other site I was writing this for is taking forever to come back up anyway, I'm no longer feeling the need to keep this posting schedule and, since I have finished writing this diary, I might start posting the chapters more often. You all can expect the start of Return of the Jedi within a week, instead of two.

For now, lets conclude the Empire Strikes Back.

* * *

><p>ENTRY » START NEW<p>

GALACTIC DATE » 38:7:06 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Home One

SITUATION » Recovering from the the events on Cloud City.

»» SITUATION UPDATE: As expected, Master Luke recounted his own adventure in Cloud City right after the Princess explained her side of the story to us and introduced us to our new acquaintance, Lando Calrissian. We were all astounded to hear about his face-off with Darth Vader, but I could tell he did not complete the account. Maybe later, he will confide in me properly, as he has many times before. It troubles me to see Master Luke so upset.

»» In the meantime, we have other worries. The bounty hunter we chased on Cloud City succeeded in taking Captain Solo frozen in carbonite. We need to find him and rescue Captain Solo as soon as possible, but first, Master Luke needs to recover and get a new appendage attached. It is not a big deal, I have had to undergo such procedures 187 times already, most of them because of Anakin-Senior.

»» I have noted that the Captain's absence is weighing heavily on the Princess and C-3PO has informed me that they had grown rather close during the trip to Bespin. I must keep close watch on her, I know Mistress Padmé would want me to.

»» It is now our first priority to find and rescue Captain Solo and I know none here will rest until we do. Hopefully, it will not take too long, since the war rages on with or without us.

»» May the Force be with Captain Solo and with all of us also.

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	19. Chapter 19

And here we are, as promised, starting **Return of the Jedi**.

* * *

><p>ENTRY » START NEW<p>

GALACTIC DATE » 39:3:12 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Tatooine

SITUATION » Infiltrating Jabba the Hutt's palace.

»» SITUATION UPDATE: So, here are C-3PO and myself, once again strolling through the sands of Tatooine (_sizzling circuits, how I hate this place!_), only this time we are not in search of a Jedi Master, we are preparing to take our designated positions in the plot to rescue Captain Solo. But maybe, I should explain: after almost one standard year of searching for Captain Solo, we were finally informed that Boba Fett had collected the Captain's bounty from Jabba which could only mean he had finally delivered Solo to the Hutt. _Seriously, how the hell did Fett take this much time to get to Tatooine is beyond me. Maybe there's some truth to that rumor I picked up on the Holonet about him and that Twi'lek starlet. _But that is not important. As soon as the intel reached the Princess' ear, off we came back to Tatooine. The only one less thrilled than me about being here would, of course, be Master Luke who spent most of his life trying to get away; and C-3PO, who is making his complaints more than acute; and Chewbacca, who keeps ranting something about sand and fur not going well together. Well, basically the only one who was excited about this trip is the Princess, which only confirms that she had never set foot in this hell-hot sand-bucket before.

»» _And while we are here playing sandtroopers, Vader and the Emperor are out there building a new Death Star – oh, joy!_

»» Well... here we are, better knock. C-3PO, be a good protocol droid and knock on the door now.

»» Okay, here we go. _Hmmm, maybe Master Luke should have clued Threepio in on the plan._

»» I have now decided that this is my least favorite place. Better deliver Master Luke's message and get the plan moving, so we can get out of here.

»» We definitely should have clued C-3PO in on the plan. Now he's freaking out after hearing the message. I would try to comfort him, but as per usual, he won't listen to me.

»» _Oh, my! They torture droids here. I hope Master Luke hurries. _

»» _Hey, where are you taking me? I'm supposed to stay close to the center of the action. How am I supposed to watch over Threepio and out for Master Luke way over here?_

»» _I so bleeping hate this place_.

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	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for the comments, they are greatly appreciated. Now seriously, Luke has the worst track record when it comes to planning rescues. It's just sheer luck (or maybe the will of the Force) that they work out at all.

* * *

><p>ENTRY » START NEW<p>

GALACTIC DATE » 39:3:13 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Jabba the Hutt's palace, Tatooine

SITUATION » Standing-by.

»» SITUATION UPDATE: Master Luke's plan does not seem to be going well at all. Last night, after C-3PO and I got separated, the Princess arrived with Chewbacca pretending to be a bounty hunter collecting the price on the Wookiee's head. The plan was to stand-by and wait for Master Luke's arrival, but the dormant Skywalker genes within the Princess activated and she decided to rescue Captain Solo herself. Needless to say, her attempt failed. She is now chained to the Hutt's hover-throne and wearing a rather exotic outfit. As for the Captain, he has been released from his carbonite prison and is being held in an actual dungeon along with Chewbacca. At least, Lando Calrissian's cover remains intact. As for myself, I have been assigned to bardroid duty. I am somewhat pleased with my assignment since it allows me to stay near the throne room and keep my visual receptor on C-3PO and the Princess. I just wish the beings here stopped throwing their drinks on me. _I don't make them, I just distribute. It's not my fault they're terrible._

»» _Hey, who is that dancer chatting with Threepio in the corner? _» EXTEND AUDITORY SENSOR ARRAY » _Why is she so interested in Master Luke? I hope Threepio keeps his blabber mouth shut._

»» Oh, Master Luke has arrived. _Master Luke, be careful, the Hutts do not appreciate Jedi mind tricks._

»» _OH NO! He has fallen into the rancor pit. WATCH OUT!_

»» Thank the Force, Anakin-Junior has inherited the reckless/lucky Skywalker gene and managed to deal with the rancor without too much trouble.

»» And now he is being sentenced to death by being eaten alive by a Sarlacc along with Captain Solo and Chewbacca. Seriously, _can this plan go any worse?_

»» RECORD OFFICIAL STATEMENT » _Anakin-Junior is the worst strategist in the galaxy._

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	21. Chapter 21

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 39:3:13 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Dune Sea, Tatooine

SITUATION » En route to the Great Pit of Carkoon.

»» Okay, here we are traveling in style aboard Jabba's barge. I managed to position myself serving drinks on the main deck so that I can be of service when the action begins (_and undoubtedly, it will_). I am trusting that the Force will guide me to where I can do the most good. As for now, that is serving drinks to Jabba's halfwits. _That's right, I have not neglected my Jedi studies._

»» _And here we go!_

»» I will not go into details regarding the following battle. Just know that the good guys won, the bad guys died, Boba Fett and a number of halfwits were eaten (I believe this meal gave the sarlacc indigestion) and Jabba got strangled by a very pissed-off Princess_. (Anakin-senior would have been proud_.) I, of course, was instrumental in winning the battle. I was the one who supplied Anakin-Junior with his lightsaber.

»» And now let's get the hell out of this Force-forsaken sand-bucket, shall we.

»» NEXT DESTINATION » Home One, wherever that might be.

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	22. Chapter 22

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 39:3:15 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Dagobah

SITUATION » Resuming Jedi training, or not.

»» As he had promised Master Yoda, as soon as Captain Solo and the others were off to be reunited with the Alliance, Master Luke and I came back to Dagobah to finish our training. Unfortunately we have come too late, or maybe just in time, since upon or arrival, Master Yoda revealed to us that he was dying and he had nothing more to teach us. It seems to me that he was just waiting for us to arrive to take the final journey into the Force. He did, however and after much insistence by Master Luke, confirm Lord Vader's former identity as Anakin Skywalker and was about to reveal the Princess' identity but faded before he could do so.

»» By the way, when I say faded, I mean FADED. His dead body disappeared right before our visual receptors. Now, I've seen many Jedi die - you know, way back during my stretch of time at Anakin's service, during the Clone Wars - and they did not disappear like that. But as of late, they do. It leads me to conclude that, during the last two decades, the Force has had a major upgrade and it makes me wonder what new features the next upgrade will include. Maybe they'll be able to come back to life, or not die at all.

»» Okay, I'm now witnessing ( sort of) another aspect of the Force's latest upgrade. General Kenobi is again conversing with Master Luke. This is a very buggy upgrade, since apparently only Master Luke can acknowledge it fully. I cannot. I can only get a partial reading on the bluish shapeless shadow in front of me and echoes of sound which I cannot make out. I do understand, through Master Luke's statements, that General Kenobi is informing Master Luke of his father's history and his sister's identity. _ABOUT BLEEPING TIME, TOO!_

»» _Ahem. So, now that we have nothing else to do in this mud-bucket, let's get out of here and erase this place from our start chart. I need a lubrication bath. And I need a vacation._

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	23. Chapter 23

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 39:3:19 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Home One, galactic position classified.

SITUATION » Reintegrating with the Alliance.

»» STATUS UPDATE: After all the past adventures, we are home once again. And just in time to join our merry gang in yet another adventure. This is the plan: the Alliance has discovered where the Empire is constructing the new Death Star and they want to go there and blow it up like they did the other one. They are optimistic since the new battle station is not yet operational and it is unprotected. It seems its only protection is an energy shield that is being projected by a generator on the nearby moon. This means that someone will have to go there and deactivate the shield so that an attack on the station will be successful.

»» _Guess who that will be. That's right - US! This could be a lot of fun or a complete disaster. _

_»» Analyzing our track record, it will be both and we'll end up miraculously escaping. _

»» And the best part of this plan is that the Emperor will be there, so if we manage to blow up the Death Star, ol' Palps will be blown-up too. I'll admit, I'm excited.

»» NEXT DESTINY » Endor.

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	24. Chapter 24

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 39:3:24 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Forest Moon of Endor.

SITUATION » Happily hiking through the forest.

»» So, here we are, making our way towards the shield generator. I have to state, I kind of like it here despite all the fallen branches that hinder my advance. It's pretty and the temperature and humidity are comfortable for my circuitry. It's also very peaceful.

»» _Of course, I should have known better than to comment on this place's peacefulness because h__ere come the bleeping troopers to jinx this party. And there go the twins after them – definitely their parents' children._

»» And now we're separated. _Bleeping kids_!

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

»» A couple of hours later, Anakin-Junior came back but the Princess did not, so now we have to go look for her. Why does someone always needs rescuing in this group?

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

»» After another couple of hours, our searches have led usto a primitive trap, which we were kind enough to trip. It I time to once again prove my usefulness and cut through the cords and release us.

»» Success! We are now free, although the others were not very pleased to fall from such height. Naturally, as soon as we were freed, another problem presented itself. We found ourselves surrounded by primitive beings resembling children's toys. However, they are not as cuddly as they appear and have taken all of us prisoner. Well not all of us, they seem to under be under the impression that C-3PO is a god - which only proves how primitive they really are. Or, maybe not so primitive, since despite their belief in C-3PO's deity, they do not pay any attention to what he says. So, now we find ourselves being restrained, despite C-3PO's protests.

»» The good news is, we found the princess.

»» The bad news is, the cutesy bears are preparing to cook us.

»» How come I can't go anywhere without someone trying to turn me into food_? I'M NOT EATABLE!_

»» Fortunately, Anakin-Junior finally decided that enough was enough and pulled a Jedi stunt to convince the cuddly bears to release us. He made C-3PO fly. Needless to say, my counterpart was not happy. _I can sympathize, I lost count of how many times Anakin-Junior pulled that stunt on me._ But, the stunt worked and we were released.

»» The rest of the day was spent in a joyous feast, in which we were NOT the main course. C-3PO, naturally, provided the entertainment. By the end of the feast, we were declared members of the tribe. _Oh joy, just what I always aspired to._

»» It was just before I shut down for the night that I noticed that Master Luke was no longer with us. I am assuming he has gone to confront his father and wish he had taken me along. But he didn't and now I cannot be of assistance to him. I can only wish him the best and may the Force be with him.

»» I hope Anakin-Senior behaves himself this time.

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	25. Chapter 25

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 39:3:25 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Forest Moon of Endor.

SITUATION » Preparing to raid the generator's bunker.

»» Today we attack the bunker. The Ewoks have pledged their help to us (apparently they do not like the Empire either, it scares away their game). Captain Solo will lead the attack and we are optimistic that we will prevail.

»» We are now standing-by just beyond the back entrance to the bunker. We are aware that above us, the Rebel fleet is about to engage the Death Star. Time is of the essence. I will know focus on the task at hand and, Force willing, will update this entry after we are victorious.

»» I will now dedicate my full resources to the mission.

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

»» SITUATION UPDATE: And that was that. Of course we were successful, but not without a few scares along the way. First, the Princess, the Captain and the others managed to get caught inside the bunker and it was up to me (_predictable aren't they?_), C-3PO and our furry little friends to rescue them (_ironic, I know_), then I was again needed to open the bunker's blast-doors, and that's all I remember. You see, I was shot. _AGAIN!_ Next thing I know, the battle is over and Chewbacca is rearranging my inner-circuitry. I hate it when he does that, something always malfunctions.

»» C-3PO is now filling me in on all the events I missed out on. The Princess was also shot, but it was not serious. Captain Solo is fixing her up as I record this. And apparently I was fixed just in time to see the Death Star explode. We are still awaiting confirmation that the Emperor is dead and also awaiting Master Luke's return. We hope he was not still on it when it exploded. I don't' think he was. He is Anakin-Junior, after all.

ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY

* * *

><p>As you all might have noticed, this diary is almost over. the conclusion will go up in a week. Thank you all for your support.<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

ENTRY » START NEW

GALACTIC DATE » 39:3:25 GrS

GALACTIC POSITION » Forest Moon of Endor.

SITUATION » Celebrating victory.

»» It is official! VICTORY IS OURS! Master Luke returned this evening with news that the Emperor did indeed die aboard the Death Star. He was killed by Anakin Skywalker, who returned from the dark side to save his son and then died as a Jedi. There were tears in Master Luke's eyes when he recounted this to his sister and the rest of us. I would have cried too, had I that physiological ability. I know that somewhere in the Force, Mistress Padmé is welcoming him and Master Yoda and General Kenobi can now rest in peace, or whatever it is that Force ghosts do with eternity.

»» I would have liked to have recorded Anakin's return. I miss him.

»» Outside this hut, the celebration has only just begun and I must join it and record it for posterity. This is an important day in the history of the galaxy.

»» I wonder now what adventures await us next. I know this was not our last one.

»» May the Force be with us all!

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«»«»«»«»

**_The End_**

* * *

><p>And here ends R2-D2's account of the events in the <em>Original Trilogy<em>. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

Thank you very much to all who have taken the time to read and review it. Artoo's diary might return next year with an account of the _Thrawn Trilogy_ (some people have asked for it) if I can get my Muse back until then and get a break from Darth Real Life.

Thanks again!**_  
><em>**


End file.
